It's Not Up to Me

Faith. Believing what is not seen. Beyond the here and now. Not what it seems to be. Not what I wish it to be. No matter what I’ve “planned” it to be. Looking past “now” and fixing my sight on the One who holds my now and tomorrows. Putting confidence in the One who is dependable. Faith is such a mystery, yet so simple.
 

"This God- his way is perfect; the word of the Lord proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him." –Ps. 18:30 

In God I trust, everything else is not up to me.

There are so many times I set my sight on what my plans are for a given moment or how I believe circumstances are going to unfold and fit together nicely in the puzzle of life. Clean and not messy. A lot of times, motives can be good and pure, but do I believe I can handle my “plans” really? Do I need to have something planned in my mind, just to “feel” in control of what happens/will happen to me? Am I more likely to rest in a state of “all is well” only when I’m “prepared” and can say “yes, I’m ready for this”? Is that more comfortable? Could I instead, just say “yes” to God? A shaky “yes” without seeing or knowing the details to come. Do I believe He is capable of making all things well and completely good?

Free falling. 

      

Letting go. One by one. Or a whole bunch all at once. Letting go of my plans. Letting go of how “my” days will unfold. Letting go of control. Letting go of what happens to me, what I want or what I think I need. Letting go of pride and fear. Letting go of winning and comparison. Letting go of the blame game. Letting go of justifying and retaliating. Letting go of keeping score and entitlement. Letting go of safe and clean. 

Letting these things fall to the ground. Better yet, letting them fall to the feet of Jesus. Only He sees the season in it’s entirety. He knows it from beginning to end. The season we’re in doesn’t take Him by surprise. He knows it full well. I’m letting go and falling into the One who will never let me go. Because really, I can’t handle my “plans” anyways. Why not let God be God. His plans are perfect. His plans are sure. Why not let His plans just be mine? Then I can rest. Then my only sight becomes Him. My purpose becomes Him. Full surrender to Him. The “messy” situations can really be most beautiful. The “risky” situations can really be most safe. 

“I will praise the name of God with a song; I will magnify him with thanksgiving.”- Ps. 69:30

I can choose to magnify disappointments/struggles/difficulties/victories/pleasant times/security-you name it. Or I can simply magnify the One who created the universe. If God designed a little leaf to contain exactly what it needs inside in order to change with every season, I know God is fully capable of handling my heart and anything I go through. More than that, the whole process is to change me. God wastes nothing. There is actually purpose in the changing. There’s purpose in the external factors that set me up for internal change. He’s always after our hearts. Changing us to look more like Him. Transforming us to new life. Preparing us for a new season. That He would increase and we would decrease ultimately. We will always magnify something. It could be the season itself, the situational happenings, those involved, our flesh, our perspectives, our goals, our pain, our happiness, our gains, our glory, or all in all- Christ. Oh, that we would welcome change and magnify the One who stretches and changes us. He deserves all the glory. 

 

In God I trust, everything else is not up to me.

I’m not my own. To me that means, I don’t belong to myself. I’ve been bought with a price. It cost God His son’s life to redeem mine. Since I belong to Christ, He has authority over me. He rules over my very life. In the sweetest way ever, He does. Because He is God, I want to submit to Him. I’m not in charge and He knows best. Because of that, I can daily surrender my plans, dreams, hopes, pain, shortcomings, pride, strivings, resources, selfish ambitions, strengths, weaknesses, time, heart, gifts and seasons. I can lay these down before the One on the throne. Letting these go in order to gain His presence, authority and plan. What was “mine” fades and what He is becomes mine. A beautiful exchange. One that’s worth everything I am and have. Because I am His and He is mine, the pressure is off me. I get to pour out my weaknesses and in turn, gain His strength. This is resting in all that He is and not banking confidence on what I think I need or my attempt to handle what life brings.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” – 2 Cor. 12:9-10

In faith, we get to say thanks at the beginning of every season. In faith, we get to say thanks at the end of every season. And in faith, we get to say thanks in the very middle of every season. Faith is really not knowing what the end looks like and choosing to trust anyways. Not trusting that we can make something happen, but instead knowing that it’s not up to us. Trusting only God. When we see His faithfulness in all our circumstances, our faith in Him increases.

Eucharisteo~ Thanksgiving

Grace. Thanks. Joy. 

Because everything is grace, we can give thanks. Because every season is grace, we can give thanks. Because none of these gifts we get are deserved or earned, we can give thanks. In this giving thanks, we receive joy. Joy that’s not dependent on circumstances. Joy that’s not dependent on comfort. Joy that wells up from the Giver of all grace- God. This joy can’t be stolen when hard seasons spring up. This joy won’t be shaken when things don’t make sense. This joy isn’t dependent on “our plans” succeeding. This joy is dependent on God alone. We get to magnify and give thanks to the Giver of grace and joy.

We are not called to live comfortably in this life. We may feel entitled to that, but really it’s not where abundant joy-filled life is. Comfortable doesn’t equal satisfied or safe. In the uncomfortable we can say “thanks”. This is best for us because something is being produced in us that otherwise couldn’t if we were only comfortable. This “something” is good. Living on the edge where I know I will fail if God doesn’t meet me. That’s where I want to be. And spoiler alert, He always will meet us at this place. He is always there. So our faith can be certain then. No matter what, we can know that faith in Him cannot be shaken. He is unshakable and He is faithful. 

“But as for me, my prayer is to you, O Lord. At an acceptable time, O God, in the abundance of your steadfast love answer me in your saving faithfulness.” Ps. 69:13

So with full confidence, we can hold fast to the truth that God is in control. That He holds us together. And his faithfulness isn’t dependent on our feelings or moments of failures/accomplishments. His faithfulness is Him. All Him. His faithfulness is dependent on Him. Not me. Not what I do or don’t do. Not how I react or don’t react. Not in how I strive or don’t strive. He is faithful because He is faithful.

In God I trust, everything else is not up to me.

“One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in his temple.” - Ps. 27:4

In every season, keep me here. Keep me close to You, faithful beautiful One. This is my prayer for you too, friends!

In whatever season you find yourself in, stand on God’s promises alone. He is the only sure thing. His grace is always sufficient to meet your every need.

In and through faith, in any season, I can stand completely on the truths about my Father.

v  my Father is completely good

(Ps. 13:6, 33:4-5, 118:1)

v  my Father completely loves me

(Ps. 139, Zep. 3:17, Jer. 31:3, 1 John 4:10)

v  my Father never leaves me on my own- He is completely with me

(Ps. 91:2, Joshua 1:9, Ps. 27:4)

v  my Father knows the complete story

(Rom. 11:33, Ps. 143:10, Rom. 8:28)

v  my Father doesn’t make mistakes- His ways are completely perfect

(Prov. 3:5-6, Prov. 16:9)

v  my Father is in complete control

(Jer. 32:17, Ps. 119:114)

v  my Father’s plan is completely what I need

(Is. 12:2, Matt. 6:33, Is. 48:17)

v  my Father is always completely worthy of my thanks and praise

(1 Pet. 3:15, 1 Sam. 2:2, 1 Chron. 16:8 & 16:34, Ps. 56:4)

“So do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord. Remember the great reward it brings you! Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised.”

~Hebrews 10:35-36

In Him,

Regina

 

Beauty in Brokeness

“But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ- by grace you have been saved and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result in works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” ~Eph. 2:4-10

This is for you. Wherever you are. In whatever place of need you find yourself in. God knows. He knows you. He loves you. He hears you. He answers you. He SPEAKS.

The Lord was speaking to my heart a few days ago:

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You are not meant to do life on your own. I give life. I am life. I am everything. Surrender every part to me and be satisfied. Find strength in me and not in trying harder. All is grace. All is mercy. My grace. My mercy. You have done nothing to deserve this. This is only from me. This is always from me. No matter how high you climb, you will never reach it. No matter how high you reach you will never deserve it. Rest in this. Don’t wake up day after day and fall back into this thinking. This thinking of trying harder. I’ve told you again and again and I will never stop telling you this. You can’t earn it. Only I can give it. Only I can make it possible. Only I can make this grace-filled-joy-filled-hope-filled life possible. Grace for the todays and tomorrows. Joy for the everyday moments and trials. And hope for eternity with me. Without me you can do nothing. Without me life is nothing. A whole lot of temporary, short-lived glory moments that are fleeting. I am your life. I am your strength. Daughter, stop trying to earn my approval. I made you. I formed you. I am who I say I am. I am more than able to bring you out. Bring you out of yourself and into me. You are known. I love you with an everlasting love. You can’t fathom what everlasting love is. How high. How long. How wide. How deep. My love cannot be grasped. Just know that it is more than enough for you. More than enough for anything you face in this life. Nothing in the world can even come close to this love. The mystery in faith. Faith that I meet every. single. need. of yours. Faith that IN me you can do ALL things. Apart from me you can do nothing. Safety in me. Nowhere else will you find this safety. Mercy, because that’s who I am. Merciful. When you were at your ugliest, I picked you out. I brought you out. I see you now as the bride of Christ. Blameless. Pure. Your true identity. Do you get this? I did this. Nothing of your might. Nothing of your strength. Nothing of your will. You were in utter darkness. Born into sin. Guilty. Separated from me. Hopeless. When I stepped into your heart, everything changed. I pursued you. Your eyes saw truth. Your eyes saw me. I came to you. I pulled you out. I broke the chains of your slavery to sin. You were a slave to sin. I conquered death. I took on your shame. I took your burdens. I took your guilt. I took your self-righteousness. I took your perfectionism. I took your pride. I took your jealousy. Now and forevermore you don’t bear those. That is not who you are. They are your identity no more. When you doubt that, you doubt me. I already proved my love for you. And. I’m. Still. Proving. My. Love. All. Of. Your. Days. Remember it is what I’ve done. I went all the way to bring you to me. So that we could be one. I see you as righteous because my righteousness covers you. You are right with me. You are an heir of mine. You bear my name. The name above all other names. My covenant is for you. I will never leave you. I will never forget you. I am here for you. My spirit is upon you to bear witness to me. ~Is. 61 Remember, you can do nothing apart from me. Me IN you is how you live. You have died to self. You are a new creation with a new heart. ~2 Cor. 5:17 Your new soft heart has nothing to do with what you did/do. Your soft heart is because of me. My grace. When I forgave you of your sins, your hard heart was replaced. Not mended, patched or fixed. No. You weren’t made into a “good” person. You were made new. Behold I am making all things new. You couldn’t do this life if you were made “better”. It’s not the real deal. You couldn’t do this life until you died to yourself to be made alive in me. I redeemed you. I am redeeming you. You are a work in progress, but you are mine. Seek me first and you will not be disappointed. I cannot disappoint. Others will disappoint you and you will disappoint others, but it is impossible for me to disappoint. You will need nothing more than what you find in me. Every part of you will be satisfied in everything I am. Believe me. Everything you once longed for starts to fade. Earthly substitutes fade in the glory of me and my kingdom. You only need more of me. Call on me more. No other earthly praise or recognition will compare to my “Well done”. You are living this new life with one thing in mind. Me. More of me. I am your prize. I am your satisfaction.  Through my Spirit you are serving me with every part of you. 

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God has been showing me lately what brokenness looks like. Truly seeing who and what I am without Christ and seeing and believing what He has done for me. I am in absolute need of Him. This is how I can have a relationship with Him. His death on the cross was to pay the cost of my sins so I could be made right with Him and will one day live with Him forever. “Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” ~ Matt. 5:3. I have nothing to offer God, but my heart because of His work on the cross. Honestly, we have nothing to bring to the table. That’s all He wants. Us as we are. We are in desperate need of Him as our Savior. Every moment in this life surrendered to Him and His will. Every “yes” to Him will affect eternity. Glory to come. Every “yes” to the world will affect the temporary and stop there. Praises will fade. Adoration will fade. Success will fade. Satisfaction will fade. Only more time spent with God can mold this eternity mindset. In His presence, we are free. “Where the spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” ~ 2 Cor. 3:17

Get alone and make space for God to speak to you. Be still. Listen. He longs for communion with you. Write down whatever He impresses on your heart. He transforms.

 May this be our forever posture:      ~Yes, Father. Here I am. Speak.~

“In Christ alone my hope is found; He is my light, my strength, my song; This cornerstone, this solid ground, Firm through the fiercest drought and storm.  

What heights of love, what depths of peace, When fears are stilled, when strivings cease! My comforter, my all in all— Here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone, Who took on flesh, Fullness of God in helpless babe! This gift of love and righteousness, Scorned by the ones He came to save.  

Till on that cross as Jesus died, The wrath of God was satisfied; For every sin on Him was laid— Here in the death of Christ I live.
 

There in the ground His body lay, Light of the world by darkness slain; Then bursting forth in glorious day, Up from the grave He rose again!  

And as He stands in victory, Sin's curse has lost its grip on me; For I am His and He is mine— Bought with the precious blood of Christ.
 

No guilt in life, no fear in death— This is the power of Christ in me; From life's first cry to final breath, Jesus commands my destiny.  

No power of hell, no scheme of man, Can ever pluck me from His hand; Till He returns or calls me home— Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.” ~ In Christ Alone by Keith Getty

Check out this beautiful song, Letting Go! Acoustic version :)  

Letting Go

Father's Heart

One of the most precious things I love to observe is the love between a Father and his young daughter. There’s nothing sweeter than when a little girl looks up to her daddy with sparkling eyes and is grinning from ear to ear. Her smile lights up the room. Not a care in the world because her daddy loves her. She twirls, sings, laughs, cries and makes mistakes all in the comfort that her daddy is there. She is His. And she knows it. Not because it’s been explained to her, but because it’s been demonstrated. Time after time. Moments upon moments. It all adds up. Love adds up.

During the school year, I love especially when Dads drop off their little 3-5 year old princess in the morning. I’ve witnessed beautiful embraces, little giggles, kisses, squeezes and sweet goodbyes. Dads are down at their daughter’s level, looking at them in the eyes. When I see the greatness come out of that loved daughter during the school day, it all points back to what’s been poured into her. Unconditional love. Unending support. Truth-filled-hope-filled words. Guidance. Promises made. Promises kept. Protection. Grace. Here is a little girl walking around confident in who she is, dreaming big, accepting and loving others and not searching for attention. Not searching for attention because she already has all the attention she needs. And she knows and lives this now. At an early age she is growing from such a foundation. There are a few little boys and girls I’m thinking of right now that fit this description perfectly. It is seriously a beautiful thing to watch.

God has been keeping this picture in the front of my mind over the last few months. What does it mean to truly believe and walk as a child of the King. If earthly Fathers (who aren’t perfect) can give good gifts to their children, how much more will our Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him? Matt. 7:11. It’s mind blowing. It’s making me pray differently. Boldly. It’s making me think differently. Truthfully. It’s making me act differently. Intentionally. Am I walking in total trust in Him and that He knows best? Am I looking up into His eyes and believing that my soul is well because my Father is for me? His ways are good. His ways are perfect. Child-like faith. That’s all it takes. Walking in God’s love. It doesn’t require explanation. Instead it is about allowing my Father’s demonstration of love to wash over every part of me. There is nothing I’m missing out on because I’m found in Him. That’s where I want to be. Swept up in His strong arms. Protected in His perfect embrace. Kissed by His grace and love notes to me. And ears opened to His sweet truths and promises to me. That’s really all. When life doesn’t make sense, His love covers. When the world is dark and cold, His love covers. When fear and lies creep in, His love covers. When mountain-top experiences happen, His love covers. When favor and promotions happen, His love covers.

We are sons and daughters of the King of Kings. He intimately pursues and lavishes love on His children. Unrelenting love. We are free to live in His love because He paid the price to make us His own. Free gift to absolutely everyone. We cannot outrun or outdo His love for us. His love cannot and will not fail us. Ever. “Therefore, be imitators of God, as dearly loved children.” Eph. 5:1

I stumbled upon this a couple days ago in the book “Crazy Love” by Francis Chan. I just picked this book up on a whim. (I just love when God reiterates a point over and over again in a variety of ways.) Here’s something that jumped out to me. “Our love for Him always comes out of His love for us. Do you love this God who is everything, or do you just love everything He gives you? Do you really know and believe that God loves you, individually and personally and intimately? Do you see and know Him as Abba, Father?” 

This is my prayer. That we walk in our true identity as children of God and assurance of God’s love for us as He draws us more to Himself. To know and be known by Him. To love and be loved by Him. That’s what matters.

Over the last couple months as God has been wrecking my heart of this truth, I was encouraged by two friends and their life adventures with the Lord. Both of these stories painted such a beautiful story of our heavenly Father’s love for us.

I’ve had the privilege to get to know a beautiful servant of the Lord, Maria Lee. Our friendship is long distance, but I’m always encouraged and inspired by her courageous love for the Lord and compassion towards others.  Back in May she posted this picture while she was in Colorado.

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This picture and story is so wild and captivating!! Maria took a picture of her friend and his daughter climbing a mountain. This daughter is three years old. I don’t know the whole story, but the picture speaks a thousand words. This picture has been etched in my mind ever since seeing it. “You can do it, Baby!” Those are the words of her father. Maria’s perspective was “As long as we hold onto Papa God in this adventure, we will always overcome and we will be always secure.”

The daughter’s words after her first climbing experience- “I need another mountain!” Wow. Just wow.

We can be that bold with our Father. Risk-takers finding security in our Father. Whatever we face, our Father is bigger still. Stronger still. Faithful still.

His love compares to NOTHING.

The other story I stumbled upon was written by another long distance friend about her husband and daughter. I met Dara Vanden Bosch in Mozambique, Africa three years ago. She was one of the first ones that introduced me to Eucharisteo living. :) At the time, Dara wasn’t married, but there she was loving the daughter she had adopted. Now three years later she is writing about her little family and the man her daughter now calls “Daddy”. It is truly a beautiful story. Check out her entry called “She loves her daddy”. You will be touched and moved once again in the truth that we are always safe and loved by our Father.

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Dara's Blog: 

 http://www.thereforego.blogspot.com/2015/05/she-loves-her-daddy.html

When we face mountains, we are not alone. When waves are crashing over us, we are not alone. In all times He is for us.

So no matter what kind of relationship you have with your earthly Father, our heavenly Father stands with open arms for you. He is perfect. He wants you as you are. His child. We have nothing to offer Him, but He offers us everything. Everything we need is in Him. Beautiful mystery. Grace upon grace. Undeserved favor.

Dance like He’s watching. Love like He’s watching. Hope like He’s watching. Live like He’s watching. Trust like He’s watching. He’s watching and nothing else matters. We are His and He knows how to take care of us.

In Him,

Regina

To my Dad. My first impression of God is rooted from what I saw and felt from you since I was little. You bear His image of selflessness, patience and loyal love. You are seriously a gift. Thank you for all the ways you love me. I appreciate how you care down to the smallest of details. That makes me feel so loved. You will always be my hero.